Am I Going To Be A Rebel Mom?

Last summer, we had our friend's three small girls over for dinner. After dinner, as they helped with the kitchen cleanup, they opened our pantry door to a whole new world to them! They stood in front of my open pantry, mouths gaping wide. "Look! Fruit Roll-Ups!" "Oh, my God! Chocolate-chip cookies!" "You have regular potato chips? We only get the soy kind!"

I thought I'd feel comfortable as a mother. Instead, I'm increasingly aware of a prickly new sensation: that I'm some kind of renegade. Who knew that buying potato chips would become a radical act? Or that letting my child walk home from school alone would require administration approval? How did I, a middle-of-the-road mom-to-be, become a social deviant?

Fear is the new fuel of the American mom. If it's not fear of her child becoming obese, it's the fear of falling behind, missing out on a sports scholarship or winding up with a thin college-rejection envelope.

Apparently I'm not nervous enough. For example, the sun: long-sleeved, UV-protective swimsuits were all the rage at my neighborhood pool, while I could barely remember ever wearing sunscreen as a child, but I do remember my mother popping blisters on my shoulders! The water wasn't safe either: at the beach I saw kids dressed in flotation belts and water wings—for shelling along the shore. And goodbye, cotton candy and hot dogs! At a minor-league game I saw moms and dads nix the stuff as if they'd never eaten the occasional ballpark treat. As if their children would balloon into juvenile-diabetes statistics if a single swig of sugary soda passed their lips.

Half my friend's kids—who already make A's and B's—had summer tutors in order to "keep it fresh." I thought vacation was for relaxing and recharging. What would our pioneer foremoms think? (You want something to worry about, let me show you frostbite, typhoid and bears!) Heck, what must our own mothers think? (Snap out of it! Go worry about something truly scary, like how you're going to pay for retirement!)

I am hoping, once my kids get in school, things will calm down. But then I am reminded, by the ring at the front door, of a fresh seasonal crop of anxiety sprouted, this time over corruptive candy fund-raisers. I know one mom who wants to change her son's schedule because he doesn't know anyone in his classes; she's worried he'll be "socially traumatized" all year. Another is afraid of a learning disability she just read about, though her child seems bright and charming to me.

And then there's playground panic. I had to laugh when an Australian study recently found that playground injuries continue to rise despite safety improvements. One of the suspected reasons: the safe new play structures are so boring that kids are taking more risks in order to have fun.
It's not that I think parents shouldn't worry about anything. I'm personally petrified of SUV drivers on cell phones. I fret as much as the next mom about how to pay for college. I pray my child won't wander onto MySpace and post something dumb.

But you can't go around afraid of everything. It's too exhausting! No matter how careful you are, bad stuff happens (diaper rash, stitches, all your friends assigned to another class). And it's seldom the end of the world.

Watching our friend's daughters ogle our pantry, I realized there's one big, legitimate fear that I haven't heard anybody mention: what's the effect of our collective paranoia on the kids? Yes, these very kids we want to be so self-sufficient, responsible, confident, happy and creative (not to mention not food-obsessed). They're growing up thinking these weirdly weenie views are healthy and normal.

I may be a rebel mom, but at least I'm not afraid of a chocolate-chip cookie!

Now, excuse me while I go "child-proof" my home. Today I am installing those plastic plug-thingys in to all the outlets. Hopefully, this will prevent my child from sticking a butter knife in the outlet! As a child, I was "shocked" to find out that that is not a good idea! (and look how I turned out?!)

I Think I Feel The Baby Moving...

Last night, I really thought I could feel something moving around a little.

Dan started talking to the Baby. I look forward to the day when the Baby kicks Dan in the cheek!

When Do I Get To Enjoy This?

Feeling blue today.

I had another doctor's appointment yesterday. More blood work, more tests. I swear, they make you worry about everything under the sun! I just want to relax and enjoy being pregnant! All the tests so far have come back "good", so why do they insist on even more tests?!

Long Road Ahead...

Fetal Development

Week 16!

At 4 1/2 inches long (head to bottom) and 3 1/2 ounces, our baby is about the size of an avocado. In the next three weeks, she'll go through a tremendous growth spurt, doubling her weight and adding inches to her length. Her lower limbs are much more developed now. Her head is more erect than it has been, and her eyes have moved toward the front of her head. Our baby's ears are close to their final position, too. Some of her more advanced body systems are working, including her circulatory system and urinary tract. The patterning of her scalp has begun, though her hair isn't recognizable yet (kinda looks like her daddy!). Although closed, her eyes are moving (slowly), and she's even started growing toenails.

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This Gets More and More Complicated...

...as the days go by, we see our lives slowly transforming in to this new and foreign world. What used to be a guest bedroom is changing in to a nursery. The biggest change happened today when Dan and I spent the afternoon building the crib. Those things sure are complicated!

So this is our lives now. While sprawled out on the floor with a thousand bolts and screws (should we be concerned that there were so many left over?) Dan (aka dababydaddy) made the observation that this is only the beginning of many sleepless Christmas Eves, assembling bicycles and all those complicated toys that have "some assembly required"

Week 15!

Baby is around 4 inches long, crown to rump, she now weighs about 2 1/2 ounces. She's busy inhaling and exhaling amniotic fluid, which will help develop the air sacs in her lungs. Her legs are growing longer than her arms now, and she can move all her joints and limbs. That means her hands are more functional, too. Sweat glands are appearing, and although her eyelids are fused shut, she can sense light. If I shine a flashlight at my tummy, she's likely to move away from the beam. There's not much for your baby to taste at this point, but her taste buds are beginning to form.

Started Painting the Border in the Nursery

Now that the nursery is almost ready for furniture, I started painting the border around the room. Mojo, who is equally excited (at least interested in all the commotion) about the baby, watching me intently as I paint the leaves... the rest of the painting will have to wait until we know the sex of the baby... pink or blue???

First Trimester is OVER!

Doing good! Feeling great! I only gained four pounds my first trimester. Doctor said the "morning sickness" should be subsiding, and it pretty much has. Now, if I just had more energy...

Baby is Enrolled in Day School!

Okay, I know how ridiculous this sounds! I enrolled baby in the Ashburn Village Country Day School yesterday. He/she starts January 2, 2008! Poor thing, only the size of a lemon and we are already planning it's future! As it turns out, even registering this early was cutting it very close! Most centers have a wait list that is a year to a year and a half long!

Thanks to the Daddy-School Dan started last week! They gave him the tip to start looking for a Day Care very early. Boy, they weren't kidding!

Week 14!

Head to bottom, our baby's 3 1/2 inches long — about the length of a lemon — and weighs about 1 1/2 ounces. Her body's growing faster than her head, which now sits upon a more well-defined neck. By the end of this week, her arms will have lengthened and will be in proportion to the rest of her body. (Her legs still have some growing to do, though.) She's starting to develop an ultra-fine, downy covering of hair all over her body (called lanugo). Her liver starts secreting bile this week, a sign that it's already functioning properly, and her spleen starts contributing to the production of red blood cells. She's also producing and discharging urine into the amniotic fluid, a normal process that she'll keep up until birth. I still can't feel our baby's movements, but her hands and feet (which are now half an inch long) are more flexible and active. Thanks to brain impulses, her little facial muscles are getting a workout as she squints, frowns, and grimaces. She can grasp now, too, and she may be able to suck her thumb!

Started Nursery Painting

Here is the design...














We started painting the nursery. I designed a border that I am going to paint all the way around the room.We are still planning everything in pink and blue, since we don't know the baby's sex yet.

Dan is convinced it's a Boy...

...and he's already driving!!

Week 13!

My belly will soon be big enough to announce to the world that I'm expecting, but our baby is still tiny. In fact, she's only about 3 inches long, crown to rump roughly the size of a jumbo shrimp and weighs just about an ounce. Despite being so small, there's a fully formed baby inside my womb now who's much more proportional than she was a few weeks ago. In previous weeks, our baby's head dwarfed the rest of her — but now her head is only about a third the size of her body. Her tiny, unique fingerprints are already in place. Her kidneys and urinary tract are functional. As I start my second trimester, most of my baby's critical development will be completed!

I have resigned to the fact that I must put away my "regular" clothes and start wearing (at least) maternity pants to fit my bulging belly!

Nursery Design Picked Out

If it's a boy...


If it's a girl...

First Toy!

Ok. I know it's early. I didn't go in to World Market looking for a toy...but I stumbled across this rocking horse that was just too cute to pass by!

We Started Preparing the Nursery

We sold most of the furniture in the guest room to make room for Baby. We have selected and ordered the baby's crib and dressers.

Week 12!

Our baby's hit the two inch mark (about the size of a lime) and weighs half an ounce. Her face is beginning to look more human. Her eyes, which started out on the sides of her head, have moved closer together on her face, and her ears are near their final positions. Her nerve cells have been multiplying rapidly, and synapses (neurological pathways in the brain) are forming. Our baby may have acquired more reflexes by now, including sucking, and she even squirms if I prod my abdomen, though I still won't be able to feel her move for several weeks.

Ultrasound pictures!

It's hard to believe that something so small can have so much detail! Normally, an ultrasound would be performed at 20 weeks, but we got lucky since it was part of some other tests the doctor wanted to do. Dan and I were both shocked to see so much detail and how active the littl guy was! He was rolling around and flipping all different ways! It was really neat to see.

You can see more pictures here: photos

Week 11!

Our fig-sized baby is now fully formed — measuring 1 1/2 inches long and weighing in at a quarter of an ounce. His skin is still transparent, allowing many of his blood vessels to show through. Some of his bones are beginning to harden, and tiny toothbuds are starting to appear under his gums. His fingers and toes have separated, and he may soon be able to open and close his fists. He's already busy kicking and stretching, and his tiny movements are so fluid they look like water ballet. These movements will increase as his body grows and becomes more developed and functional. As his diaphragm develops, our tiny tenant may also start to get the hiccups. Because he's still so small, though, I won't feel any of his workouts or intrauterine gulps until sometime between weeks 16 and 20.

Week 10!

Our baby is no longer an embryo! Though she's barely the size of a kumquat — just an inch or so long, crown to bottom — and weighs less than a quarter of an ounce, she now has completed the most critical portion of her development. This is the beginning of the so-called fetal period, a time when the tissues and organs in her body rapidly grow and mature. Her vital organs — the liver, kidney, intestines, brain, and lungs — are now in place and starting to function (although they'll continue to develop throughout your pregnancy). Her liver continues to make blood cells, and the yolk sac, which previously supplied these cells, is no longer needed and begins to disappear.

Week 9!

My new resident is nearly an inch long — barely the size of a grape — and weighs just a fraction of an ounce, but he's poised for rapid weight gain now that his basic physical structure is in place. He's also starting to look more and more human. His embryonic "tail" is now completely gone and his body parts — including organs, muscles, and nerves — are kicking into gear.

His eyelids are fused shut and won't open until 27 weeks. He has earlobes, and by week's end, the inner workings of his ears will be complete. His upper lip is fully formed, too, and his mouth, nose, and nostrils are more distinct. The tips of his fingers are slightly enlarged where his touch pads are developing. All major joints — his shoulders, elbows, wrists, knees, and ankles — are working, enabling your baby to move his limbs. As for his heart, it has divided into four chambers now, and the valves have started to develop. External sex organs are there, but won't be distinguishable as male or female for another few weeks.

Week 8!

Our baby is now 5/8 of an inch long, about the size of a kidney bean. She's constantly moving and shifting, although I won't be able to feel these womb wiggles for several weeks yet. Her embryonic tail is disappearing, and her eyelids practically cover her eyes. Still slightly webbed, her fingers and toes are growing longer. Her arms have lengthened, too, and her hands are now flexed at the wrist and meet over her heart. Her knee joints have formed, and her feet may be long enough to meet in front of her body. With her trunk straightening out, her head is more erect. Breathing tubes extend from her throat to the branches of her developing lungs. The nerve cells in her brain are also branching out to connect with one another, forming primitive neural pathways. The external genitals still haven't developed enough to reveal whether you're having a boy or a girl.

Week 7!

Our baby still appears to have a small tail (actually, it's an extension of his tailbone), which will disappear in the next few weeks. But that's the only thing getting smaller. Now almost half an inch long — roughly the size of a raspberry — he has elbow joints and distinct, slightly webbed fingers and toes. In his oversized head, both hemispheres of his brain are developing. His teeth and the inside of his mouth are forming, and his ears continue to develop. Eyelid folds partially cover his tiny peepers, which already have some color, and the tip of that nose we'll be tweaking someday is emerging. His skin is paper-thin and his veins are clearly visible.

Our little one also has an appendix and a pancreas, which will eventually produce the hormone insulin to aid in digestion. His liver is busy producing red blood cells, and a loop of your baby's growing intestines is bulging into his umbilical cord, which now has distinct blood vessels to carry oxygen and nutrients to and from his tiny body. I can't feel his gyrations yet, but our baby is like a little jumping bean, moving in fits and starts around his watery home.

Week 6!

The cells that will make up all of our baby's body parts and systems are dividing furiously as her body begins to take shape. Right now she's about the size of a small lentil bean (4 to 5 millimeters across). If you could see through my uterine wall, you'd find an overlarge head and dark spots where her eyes and nostrils are beginning to take shape. Shallow pits on the sides of her head mark her developing ears, and her arms and legs appear as protruding buds. Her hands and feet look like paddles, with thick webbing between the developing digits, but her fingers and toes will soon become more distinct. Below the opening that will later be our baby's mouth, there are small folds where her neck and lower jaw will eventually develop. (Inside, her tongue and vocal cords are just beginning to form.)

Our baby's heart (which is starting to divide into the right and left chambers) is beating about 100 to 130 beats per minute — almost twice as fast as mine — and blood is beginning to circulate through her body. Her intestines are developing and tiny breathing passages are beginning to appear where her lungs will be. She's also starting to build muscle fibers and, halfway through this week, she'll likely start moving her tiny limbs. Unfortunately, I'll probably have to wait until I'm several weeks into my second trimester before I get to enjoy feeling our baby's calisthenics.

We Are Pregnant!

This was Dan's reaction the second we found out we were pregnant!

Week 5!

Deep in my uterus my embryo is growing at a furious pace. At this point he's about the size of a sesame seed, and he looks more like a tiny tadpole than a human. He's made up of three layers — the ectoderm, mesoderm, and endoderm — that will later form his organs and tissues. The cells are forming for his major organs, including his kidneys and liver, and his neural tube is beginning to develop. This neural tube — from which our baby's brain, spinal cord, nerves, and backbone will sprout — develops in the top layer, called the ectoderm. This layer will also give rise to his skin, hair, nails, mammary and sweat glands, and tooth enamel. His heart and circulatory system begin to form in the middle layer, or mesoderm. (This week, in fact, his tiny heart begins to divide into chambers and beat and pump blood.) The mesoderm will also form our baby's muscles, cartilage, bone, and subcutaneous (under skin) tissue. The third layer, or endoderm, will house his lungs, intestines, and rudimentary urinary system, as well as his thyroid, liver, and pancreas. In the meantime, the primitive placenta and umbilical cord, which deliver nourishment and oxygen to our baby, are already on the job.

Week 4!

This week marks the beginning of the embryonic period. From now until ten weeks, all of our baby's organs will begin to develop and function. As a result, this is the time when she'll be the most vulnerable to anything that might interfere with her development.

Right now your baby is an embryo consisting of two layers: the epiblast and the hypoblast, from which all her organs and body parts will develop. The primitive placenta is also made up of two layers at this point. Its cells are tunneling into the lining of my uterus, creating spaces for your blood to flow into so that the developed placenta can provide nutrients and oxygen to your growing baby when it starts to function at the end of this week. Also present now are the amniotic sac that will house our baby, the amniotic fluid that will cushion her as she grows, and the yolk sac that produces our baby's red blood cells and helps deliver nutrients to her until the placenta is ready to take over this duty.

Week 3!

What's going on in my womb now? A lot. Our baby-in-the-making is just a tiny ball consisting of several hundred cells that are multiplying madly. Once the ball of cells (called a blastocyst) takes up residence in my uterus, the part of it that will develop into the placenta starts producing the pregnancy hormone hCG (human chorionic gonadotropin), which tells your ovaries to stop releasing eggs and triggers increased production of estrogen and progesterone (which keep your uterus from shedding its lining — and its tiny passenger — and stimulates placental growth).

Meanwhile, amniotic fluid is beginning to collect around the ball of cells in the cavity that will become the amniotic sac. This fluid will cushion our baby in the weeks and months ahead. Right now, our little blastocyst is receiving oxygen and nutrients (and discarding waste products) through a primitive circulation system made up of microscopic tunnels that connect our developing baby to the blood vessels in my uterine wall. The placenta won't be developed enough to take over this task until the end of next week.